Dear Dale:

I hope you have enjoyed your four day trip away from us, we sure have missed you! As you enter the house through the laundry room after midnight tonight please notice the coat rack that has fallen off the wall and the pile of coats stacked on the floor. Now as you enter the family room please don't turn on the stereo, the speakers are blown. Looking up to the ceiling you'll notice the giant hole above the pot rack where you took down the sheet rock due to a leak last week. Speaking of ceilings one of the recessed halogen lights in the basement bathroom is hanging from the ceiling. But before you leave the kitchen, do you hear the strange ticking sound the fridge is making? Oh, and speaking of strange ticking sounds the toilet in the master bath is making a weird sound. We are so glad you're home and can fix all these nuisances!
ps: your parents arrive the day after tomorrow! Better get busy.